Don't even read this. I only wrote it for myself.

When you apologize to someone, do you mean to be sorry for the action that just happened? Or do you account for the yet-to-materialized aftermath of your actions— days, weeks, months, or years after the event?

An amateur cook can say sorry for botching a meal, but does that sorry include days down the line when the patron gets unknowingly sick?

A father can apologize for his failed marriage, but where is that apology hold years down the line when his daughter unexplainably has emotional difficulties. 

A soldier can be sorrowful for the civilian he mistakenly killed, but at the victory celebration, there will be a celebrating man and another still dead.  

I guess if someone doesn't apologize for the wrongful thing he or she did, that person is selfish. To be selfless one must succumb to their ego and admit their mistakes.

I've learned that it's once an apology is spoken, the selflessness of the apologizer ends. The wrong quickly transfers the responsibility of healing and mending to the wronged.

And if that person never finds a way to heal, it's now their fault— for their inability to cope with tragedy is not a wanted trait in society.

I guess It won't matter as much to either party years down the line. The scars will fade. Life changes— it moves on, it adds new cereal flavors to the breakfast aisles and it doesn't remember your tragedy.

Don't worry about me those who went against my title and read this post. I'd like to think that my half-way-coped emotion is not an elephant in the room—I'm not forced to stare at it everyday. Just a pile of elephant poop it left in here; I'm living with it used to the smell— only occasionally a whiff would remind my nostrils so I can't help but wonder, why didn't it let me know so I can lead it to poop outside?


The dandelion still has my smile— it's just choosing to smile cautiously who to smile for.
Pete