Haven't had a chance to sit down and write down what's happening since I've been back in California until now.
I settled into Sean's guest room in Valencia, a town north of LA that's truly an oddball— suburban all around— in the center there is a large shopping complex full of franchise and fancy franchises restaurants— it takes at least 20 minutes to get anywhere else outside of Santa Clarita. There's a Magic Mountain amusement park here. I used to love those roller coasters, but somehow they don't attract me much anymore.
My mom's in town so I naturally went shopping with her the next day. She's a shopaholic. I wanted to just stay home and sleep but decided that I would go to be her friend. It ended up that I bought a new pair of shoes and a pair of pants— both for my roundtheworld trip— at least that's what I justified.
We ate lunch at Souplantation. Average salad, above average soup— the place was saved from its eternal boredom when two people in line had an argument. They were about to fight but the police were called. I imagine they fought over the last piece of carrot.
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| What a wonderland. |
Friday I drove after brunch to see my friend Lee. He came down from Utah with girlfriend Natalie to see her sister in Santa Monica. It was fun and game, and we ate at a very chic Japanese restaurant. Of course drama ensued between the sisters and the night was ruined. I also got a very expensive parking ticket. I'll save the swears this time.
Saturday I went to the Cinegear Expo. Alberto, Lee and Natalie also tagged along. It is the biggest trade show for film equipment. I walked around checking out various equipment companies and seeing the new products and old products. It was a wonderful time. I could hardly contain myself. This makes me excited to be in the business. My friends enjoyed as well because it was a unique experience and very California.
Alberto and I made our way to meet Sandra. We ate at a delicious nook inside a grocery store. It was closing but I had their last burger— a good surprise— and they catered to us like we were their long time customers— even got a free dessert and to use the employee bathroom!
Picked up Cecilia and ate more at her house. Alberto had for the first time a bowl of Pho, a Vietnamese noodle dish. It was nostalgic to be in Cecilia's house after all these years. I remember the awkward sofa that I sat with her awkward dad to wait for her to be ready for Winter Formal. Oh the nostalgia..
We all hung out and met more friends to watch the Hangover Part II. I thought the movie was fine. It was slow at the beginning and end, but overall it was entertaining enough— minus the negative hyperbole about Bangkok. Saw our names in the credits and that was prideful feeling all around.
Being back here has brought a bit of a funny feeling. The traffic is still bad, the people still the same. It's interesting to be away for 5 years and see how most things stay the same, only on the micro level that they changed. Sensations feel the same, yet something is off. I saw cars parked along side the roads and thought that most of these cars would have been parked here 5 years ago, on the very same spots. Maybe a few has been upgraded their cars but the jobs these people had then, are probably the jobs they have now. Their kids may have grown and maybe they have taken a few vacations outside the city a few times, ate a few more delicious food items and plenty more bland things, but the person they are then is probably the same person they likely to be now. I can't help but think that humans have become so sedentary. We used to be roaming and nomadic, but now we have really settled. It's scary to think that most people will just live the same life, slow down year by year, and eventually retire into their personalized space six feet under. I can't imagine being in a dehumanizing jobs like office jobs or factory jobs, getting into daily routines and weekly routines and monthly and yearly. Their spirit as children fades every second and we never fingerpaint anymore. All because fingerpainting won't mow the lawn; it won't bring income to the family; it definitely won't pay for the car; and it's no occasional SuperBowl party. No one ever do new experience for the right reasons; now it's just to boast about it on Facebook. If you agree or disagree, let me know in the comment. Otherwise, stay cautious, long for the opportunity to have new experiences; or just become old.
Pithai jumping off the soapbox
This has been on my mind a lot too lately, Pete. I have been to a couple of funerals for people in the last few months that have made me think really hard about what I'm doing with my life. I know my life seems like drudgery to other people. I know traveling the world sounds more glamorous, or having a cool career or whatever. But I think life is what you make it, no matter what you do, whether you are a secretary or a stunt-man. Having kids for me is the greatest adventure I could ever embark upon, and our daily small adventures are what make life great. I don't have to go far to find happiness. Of course Jason and I are looking for ways to make money doing something more creative, and I have faith that that something will present itself if we keep working towards that goal. But in the meantime, in our seemingly sedentary lives, staying in our small town, we are living, really LIVING every day. I think it's important for our kids to see the world, try new things, eat new foods, and we will continue to get out in the big wide world. But I think that home is where it's at. And we finger paint a lot.
ReplyDeleteI don't necessary disagree with you, but feel like to express my opinion a bit. I didn't tell you this last time you were here... My girl friend and I decided to travel around the world after we finished the book, Around the World in 80 Days". We were 9th graders. We took off one night and were so excited to see what it would be like out there (I know that was stupid). I felt like the world was my playground. The trip was rough due to the lack of plans and resources, but quite an experience. I'd like to leave out some detail. For me, the most memorable and exciting part was that I believed I would actually be able to see other part of the world. I wanted to so bad. Knowing what I know now and looking back, I don't regret it, but I am glad that we got caught (on the 3rd day).
ReplyDeleteI still have that bug in me. The question is "will I do it again?". Probably not! At least not the way I did anyway.
I don't mind 9-5 job 'cuz I still have 16 more hours each day (theoretically) to finger paint,to read travel magazine, or even to feel bad for myself.
My point is not to go against what you think, but want to share some other point of view about life. My priorities have changed. I don't think trekking on Mt.Fuji or becoming a rescue diver or traveling around the world is the most adventurous or challenging thing I want to do anymore. I have another challenge that might seems to be settled for others, but I think it's as challenging if not more. You have map/GPS to help guiding you while traveling. You even have people around to help when you're lost. But you're on you own when it comes to raising a child(children). They don't come with manual and that is challenging in my opinion. It's also my adventure (+struggle).
You are lucky to realize what you want in your life. Believe me, not everybody is that lucky. Don't feel bad for people who do not get to do what you get to or have the same dream. We all want different things in life and our priorities are different too. Some might lose spirit as children, but they might gain something else. I admit I don't like theme park as much now. But I can assure you that I would be the happiest person in the world in my personal space, six feet under, to know that the seed I have planted will grow in the way that allows me to be proud of and able to say that "I did it!".
'till next time
(just) L
Brooke and P' Luck
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for your honest responses. Before I try to justify my point, I want to let both of you know that you are one of the few people in my life that I admire and look up to (or down, P' luck you're a little short).
Brooke, I want to make sure you understand me. I know life is whatever you make it to be and I really respect the life Jason and you have (it's not even seemingly sedentary, in my opinion). I was writing more about some of the people I met recently, particularly some of the younger ones. In large part they were willing to accept the prescription of going to school, getting a job, see the world through the television screens, and staying really comfortable in their bubble. As much as I try to be open-minded about their lives, I still am perplexed at how uncurious they are about the world (of course it's biased because I'm extra curious).
I think 9-5 jobs are necessary because we just need those people in the marketplace. However, you may think that the other 16 hours are to your disposal but think about the people in LA for example. They spend about 3-4 hours just commuting, 6-8 hours sleeping, and then it repeats. I am fortunate to not be in a situation where I need to have a job like that. However, I think people seem to exaggerate their obligations to be in that loop. They often blame society, wealth, or just settling for that job because of stability and security. More often than not, I feel like there are people waiting for opportunities to come knocking, but never reach out enough to put themselves in the right places when the real opportunities come.
My sense of adventure will undoubtedly change when I have kids. I know that because having kids is important to me, there are some things in life that needs to be curtailed or sacrificed. I really appreciate you both saying that this is now the greatest adventure that you're on.
Maybe my point about fingerpainting is misinterpreted. All I meant is that people grow up and all of sudden when we want to do something it has to be analyzed for its purpose and meaning. Back when we were kids, as foolish as some of the things could be, our spirits were much more free and flowing. Though it's good that we grow up and mature overtime, I just wish that more of that spirit is retained in adults. It seems like we lose our childhood senses too much and too fast these days.
Again, thanks for writing, I appreciate reading your thoughts since I'm very inexperienced about the whole thing called life. I meant it when I say that I look up to both of you very much. It's so nice to have that support and mentorship. I can't say that everyone in the world has that.
Pete
Hey I didn't think how you see things and people around you is not accurate. It's just different angle that we are looking at. I just shared mine with you. Nothing wrong with how you see it. It's just a stage in life. It's evolving! Thank you for saying that you look up/down to me. I think your other friend might be a smarter choice to look up to. I'm still struggled to figure things out. It's frustrating sometimes, but overall I have fun with it. Life is good. I appreciated what you said though.
ReplyDeletekid tueng jing jing na
"L"
Pete, I think I came across as defensive, when I didn't need to be- I know you think we're the coolest. ;) Ha ha! And I do know what you mean. There are a LOT of people in the world who do seem to settle. Settle for a job, spouse, whatever. But Luck is right- we don't know what anyone else dreams, or what their angle on life is, so although we may feel sorry for them at first glance, they may not want us to or feel that they are any less fulfilled than you or I.
ReplyDeleteThe 2 funerals I mentioned earlier taught me a lot, actually, about what is important. And it's family! Both these friends led really simple, but beautiful lives. In fact one of them, whose husband is Craig Law (you know him, right?) had a theme in her life. It was: "Life is what you make it, so take it, and make it beautiful." She was a middle school orchestra teacher who touched countless lives, most especially the lives of her family. Life IS what you make it. So take it, and make it beautiful. That has become my mantra as well. It doesn't matter what you do as much as how you do it. Of course some days are just plain insane with all these kids and I go to bed feeling I have done a very un-beautiful job, but it's all part of the journey. I know you know all that stuff, but I'm just sharing what has influenced me lately.
And Luck, is that you? I'm Lee's sister, Brooke. And I think you should come visit us while Lee is living here! My boys loved meeting your boy when you went to shoot guns awhile ago. ;) We'd love to see you both!
Pete, seriously, how many kids your age would be asking the questions you ask, and figuring life out the way you do, with eyes wide open and a big smile? I think you are a total rockstar, and I'm so glad you're part of our lives... Can't wait to see where life takes you!
There is a lot to be said about questioning our society's idea of what is normal. I feel like almost everything most people view as "everyday" things are just the opposite. Life was different before technology. We knew how to speak with one another. We trusted in nature, and our bodies. We spent most of our time outdoors, and ate food from the ground or off of trees. When we felt ill, we rested. Now we sit inside, staring at the television or computer screen. We cannot speak our true feelings, we never learned how. we put on a face for the world to see. we go to the grocery store. A cherry or plum from a tree has not been properly grown or washed-we must buy it from a store for it to be proper food. When we are sick we run to a man with an enourmous amount of schooling whom we do not even know, and we trust that the things he wants us to ingest will help us. We do not question the poisonous ingredients in these medicines, or whether they are crippling our immune systems.We do not rest-We go back to our 9-5 job the next day, because we don't want to waste our sick time (if we are lucky enough to get sick time.) We allow our schedules to be dictated by others. Too many don't question these things. I recently met A woman who is getting older. her children have grown. you'd imagine her life would be slowing down, she would be cooking and cleaning and waiting for phone calls from chuldren and grandchildren, and visiting the doctors office far more than she should. Instead she went to school. She became a doula-then a midwife. she travels here and there delivering babies in houses, teaching us that although modern medicine would let us believe otherwise, humans are infact meant to birth babies. It is not supposed to be a medical or surgical event! she teaches us that we do not need medicines. The plants that grow on this earth have a purpose. There are herbs that heal cuts and sickness. She, in her old age, is having adventures. Traveling to Africa with a purpose. To help women have heathy pregnancies and births in a country where if you cannot afford medical care you do not get it-if there is a complication there you die. She is there teaching midwives and women. This is the kind of old age I want. After I finish my adventure of having and raising babies, and am older and wiser I want to find a purpose. I will not bow to society, become an old and frail grandmother qho waits by the door for ny children to visit, or adventure to knock.
ReplyDeleteBrooke, I know exactly what you meant now. And thank you for sort of keeping me in check. I know being open minded is supposed to mean that I accept whoever they are as well, no matter how bland or odd I may view their lives.
ReplyDeleteThat's the hardest part, but it's necessary for me to try to understand as well. Because my idea of a good time sounds generally more adventurous and it is probably more lauded way of living, it maybe easier for a lot more people to accept that, but in turn, I have to respect their ways of life as well.
Kaelee, you are awesome. I didn't even know you were a reader of this blog! It's been so long since I've seen you! Congrats on your baby by the way.
I think there are lots to be said about what is normal. I feel like the habitual energy in people are dictating what they feel is normal and the norms. They accept a lot of what most of society do en masse and live that life all the time, then to break out of the habit seems utterly impossible.
I guess what I meant to say with all of this is that I'm really perplexed about it all. It's not that I want everyone to get off their butts and live my life. I just wanted more people to realize that whatever ways they are living, it's totally okay, as long as they don't accept into their own lives the ways others are expecting one to live. If you want to be a grandma taking care of your children and grandchildren, do so without the notion that it was the life that you have inherited. Knit stuff because you like it and want to, but not because you HAVE to do it because that's what the society's idea of a good grandma should be doing.
Watch television, eat fast food, exercise, live off welfare, be a bum, be sexy, be freaky, or just be a high school math teacher who never smiles; but only if everything in your life propels and pushes you to do so. Once you've settled in, know that changes are coming. Good and bad ones. You don't have to know how to get out of the bad changes, but truly knowing that they are unavoidable, and you'll know that "Bad things happen, you can still live". (Thanks Super 8)
oh, every few months I go through my favorites, you know to clean it up. I'm constantly adding things to it, websites I don't want to lose track of, or things I wish I could buy. When I do I come across your blog and I spend a few minutes catching up on it.
ReplyDeletesorry for not proofreading my comment. I've become a bit too dependent on spell check, and auto correct in my life....Anyhow pete, I will not stop reading as long as you have worthwhile things to say, and I think you always will. Thanks for the congrats on the wee one.