Of course something else decides to break. The vertical grip isn't working right now. Of course it's not a big deal and I can still take photos, but now my card reader decides to go caput.
I'm complaining now but I can't even begin to imagine what words would come out of my mouth had this happened during one of the FunkyBooth events. It was always a fun time, but nevertheless, I was always at my peak of stress. This would not have been fun.
I am trying a few internet solutions to no avail so far.
Anyway, with the lack of photos, I still needed to write tonight. I saw a lot of things in Lampang and thought a lot about everything. If at any point of this you feel extra bored, skip to the "******" at the end of the post, at least read that part...
•My dad becoming a monk reminded me a lot of the days I was a monk. A lot of things are different today, everyone in my life has changed one way or another, and so have I. Mostly I've become less religious and more spiritual. I still need help finding my niche on that though.
•I tried real hard to forgive myself for mistakes I've done to other people, also to forgive other people for doing unfair things to me. Starting to realize it's more about understanding why these things happened. A lot of things I understand now, a lot more I'm still putting puzzle pieces together. Stay tuned. I hope you try to forgive me as well. Forgiveness is quite a beautiful thing, I just hope it's a bit easier.
•Lately, it's been too easy, which is scary to me, to let myself become cynical about human relationships. My friends might have noticed, but my parents mostly have taken the hit this past few months and for that I'm deeply regretful. It's not everyday you start really loving someone unconditionally, it's real hard to see why they can still hurt you— I don't want to say I should learn from my mistakes and stop doing that, because my true belief is that everyone should work towards loving one another unconditionally. Maybe I was too young for some of the conditions, but I'm secured enough to say I did pretty good for being so youthful. I need to keep that in mind so I don't become cynical about the whole ordeal— which I doubt I am. Just needed to say that out loud to keep myself away from it. My mom noticed the other day and I promised her to smile more. To make up for being such a poop face lately, I will smile for her.
•On an unrelated yet related note, when I watched Tree of Life back in early June. Aside from getting into its beautiful images sitting next to my best friend Alberto. I shed a tear during the part when Mrs. O'Brien (Brad Pitt's wife in the story) said
Love everyone. Every leaf. Every ray of light. Forgive.I'm not too scared to tell people that I cry in movies. I do. Especially while flying.
•Last night I saw the White Ribbon (Das Wieße Band), a black and white German film. It is a beautifully directed film, with stunning and well thought out cinematography. The contrast in the picture is so awesome. I wish someone would pay me one day to shoot a film in black and white.
•I also saw Days of Heaven by Terrence Malick. Richard Gere in the movie back in his young age. This film is also very well done. More films like this needed in this day and age.
•This morning we woke up and saw three dead cows on the street, one more dying. A truck had struck them during the night (all four!) and they were still figuring out how to deal with the whole thing by morning. I took a photo (to me, it was out of respect) of the dying calf. I really looked into her eyes before releasing the shutter. I don't have the greatest memory in the world, but when I take a photo of something, the image is burned in my mind. Each of the cows were sold for about 30 dollars each.
•I saw the most beautiful butterfly this morning while out on a walk. Never liked butterflies, but it's never difficult to recognize beauty.
****** There are probably a thousand more things going through my head right this moment. I wanted to remind you more that this blog is merely a tool for me to just be open with whatever the heck is going on in my life. It's also a tool for me to remember what happened in this short time I'm going to live. You are more than appreciated to read these posts (because that's the point). Sometimes it's very personal, and I don't mind too bad since most of the readers here are likely to be my close friends. I hope you enjoy my photography that I put here as well as my writings. I apologize if they become too "emo" or sometimes long-winded. My chain of thoughts is like this and I hope everyone can keep reading and finding something useful or meaningful to each blog post. Whether we still talk all the time or merely are kept in touch through this blog/facebook, I hope you know that you mean everything to me.
Regards, best, sincerely, and big big hugs,
Pete
aww im honored to hear that sir, and again you know id say the same back and i have, but yeah i totally agree with you on the writing thing, i tend to keep lists of everything my own records i guess, part of it is its just cool to look back and see a moment suspended in time and just kind go in and out of a time, but mostly i think its just my fear that after so many things ill forget some things na mean? iono maybe i just have this one weird fear that one day id wake up and not remember anything and id look back at my lists and remember everything ive done all the time thats passed between then and now, its easy to look back and say oh last year was 2010 this year its 2011, a few things happened, cus we forget so many things that happened over those 365 days, i forget conversations ive had with people and have em all over again lol how many times have you told me "weve had this conversation before" but anyways iono where im going with this just random unfiltered thoughts of the top of my head
ReplyDeleteAlberto
grr this thing always glitches me when i try and post havent figured out why i just switch to another browser and try again lol
try positive cynical next time!
ReplyDeletep.s. thanks for the "Milk Value" sang last night ^ ^
au
Thanks Alberto. You are always my homie.
ReplyDeleteP' U. You are crazy. Human TingTong JingJing.— Milk Value คิดได้ไงวะเนี่ย
I THINK you're right that "forgiveness is a beautiful thing". But I don't know that for fact. I had to,in my life, forgive two people. At the time, I was struggle to figure it out how to forgive that person. And I found out I DIDN'T KNOW HOW. We all heard the word "forgive", but do we really know how to actually do it. Maybe it's just me. I learned about myself that I don't know how to forgive, but I know the feeling that burning inside from holding the grudge is unbearable for me. So I just stop caring about it and forget it. Sometimes, in life, people do things to you just because they can. It's not worth my time and energy to waste on those kind of people, so I moved on. The other person that I had to forgive.... I just told her that I forgave her so she could rest in peace. Anyway, I still want to learn how to forgive. I think it'll become handy one day.
ReplyDeleteHey,whatever you've been through or going through in life will transform you. But do not let it change the core of you, ok? There will always be sunshine tomorrow. B+
P'Luck
Sometimes forgiveness has to be a selfish act. No matter how you feel about another person, sometimes the only person who knows that is you yourself.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time we don't forgive for the other people, we forgive them for ourselves. That's what I did. It doesn't mean sadness perishes, but at least a path opens behind it so you can walk through the rubble.
Thanks for your words, and from my experience, sometimes sunshine doesn't even wait for tomorrow, in my case it was the very moment I stepped out the door— that was nice.